I am sick of all of that word and what it's come to represent. The facade, the ego, the harm, the lies, the cruelty, and heartlessness. When did fitness become such a turnoff? When I had to pick a name for my fitness business, my current company, or any of my podcasts, I avoided the word fitness like an infection. Fitness turns off the people who need it the most. It's become a swamp filled with fabricated bullshit. Rarely can you find compassion or empathy for a whole person and their life journey. Paradoxically, the main function of fitness is to help a person advance, develop, strengthen, and breathe. The mission always gets lost in the weeds.
Fuck the word fitness and all of the shitty feelings that it conjures up in some of our minds. Fitness is a practice, not a look. We are different shapes. We have different values, interests, and priorities. Our bodies are the most boring thing about who we are. We may choose to focus on our appearance, and that's 100% our choice. We arent less than if we don't care and we arent shallow if we do.
We are enough. We have to know that we are whole humans and focus on our knowledge of the subject. Fitness is a habit or a skill, one that we hone, a path that we walk. Many of us see something shiny, and we are drawn to it, and make it the expert; we put it on a pedestal and hail it a god because we want that shiny thing so badly we will do anything we can to get it. No matter how high, we will pay the price because it's so damn shiny. How did it get so shiny? We think..."I want to be shiny... I feel so dull". We don't even see ourselves in the shadow of the shiny thing.
If you follow me you know I love bodybuilding and working on my physique. I give an enormous fuck about how I look. However, I also know that the way I look is the most boring part of me. Becoming a person that I am proud of is the real flex.
The hoards of influencers (who completely make shit up) couldn't prey upon any of us if we are all standing on a solid platform of unshakable self-worth. We would be more able to approach fitness in a more useful way, as it is intended, a method for self-improvement and health instead of a seat at the cool kid's table that we have to earn and fight to keep. But that's a tall order. How dare I tell someone who doesn't feel good about themselves to love themselves first. After all, I work in the industry that helped them feel shitty.
The practice of fitness is meant to support us in the long term. It's a tool used to process stress and emotional and physical pain. Remove the timeline and find all of the ways in which it can support your growth. Work out with your eighty-year-old self in mind. I was working with a client this morning who loves how exercise feels, she loves how calm she is during and after. Movement connects her to her breath which brings her out of her head. She spent years hating her body. During those years, she felt too paralyzed to exercise. All she saw were her flaws, and she thought everyone else could see them too. Exercise could have helped her move past that self-loathing she suffered with. It's like drowning in the ocean with no lifeguard to save you. I am here, queens, I am the lifeguard now (see what I did there). Learn to swim before getting in that ocean.
If you feel like the door to fitness is closed in your face, and you can't have a seat at the cool kid's table, and your self-worth has taken a hit due to this fuckery, may I remind you, your body can do a whole lot of really cool shit. The best way to get over feeling discouraged about your physical self is to focus on some of the cool shit your body can do. On a basic level, Most of us can walk, cook, hug, and drive a car. On a more advanced level, some of us can make art, write poetry, lift weights, run, play sports... there are too many to list. Try for yourself. The next time you are feeling low, try lifting yourself up by listing all the cool shit your body can do.
Exercise connects our mind to our body, we breathe, and anxiety goes down. We get elevated levels of serotonin, and we feel good. We will likely form friendships and find our people wherever we go, whether its yoga, the gym, tennis, golf, or dance. Whatever we choose, we won't feel uncomfortable forever, we will get proficient, find our groove, and build confidence.
If you see a wall before you that's stopping you from getting what you want, knock the damn thing down and go after what's on the other side. Claim your strength and happiness.
Let's stop thinking small when there are so many enormous opportunities dangling before us.
Peace and Love,