I do weird shit with a purpose. Sometimes there is a thing I want or a passion that I feel flowing and I have to do that thing, no matter what it is, no matter how frightened I am. I am frightened of a lot. But, I generally manage to navigate the stuck spaces where fear lives. When connecting to purpose there is a greater responsibility and it would be selfish to not act on the thing in my path that's scaring me at the moment.
My purpose has led me down some windy roads and pushed me off of several cliffs; I went on a reality show, jumped out of a plane, started a company, began competitive bodybuilding, formed an LGBTQ+ support group, done public speaking, performed and a whole lot more weird shit, I dont need to list it all. Tomorrow I am jumping off of my biggest cliff yet, I am launching a podcast. This is something I have been dreaming and wishing that I would accomplish . My friend Jen Kranjec and I have been working on this for many months and the time is finally here. I dream of being a speaker, writer and podcaster and I have a whole lot of fear which complicates the timeline a bit. A few years ago I heard the term imposter syndrome, its when you dont feel competent enough to do the thing that you are attempting to do. ding ding ding….it was me…. totally me. I had forever been comparing myself to the people that I studied and learned from. So I kept pursuing more education and more life experience. None of anything I picked up made me feel more competent. But, I realized that I have this thing, this passion, this purpose. This crazy drive to protect people from harm that I see hanging over their heads. I have this notion that my experience can open a door and shed some light and help people find some joy and break up with suffering. Its a thing that lives inside me. Its not learned. Its my personal mission. And so it begins…. I am the podcaster now….
A few months back My friend/colleague/tree hugging sister, Jen Kranjec, and I decided that we were going to start our own podcast. We had a very cool message that we vibe with so hard we couldn't imagine others wouldn't want to vibe with us too. Jen and I met last year backstage at a bodybuilding competition. We were actually competing against each other but we were having such a good time we ended up just cheering each other on and vowed we would collaborate in some way shape or form as soon as the competition season ended. (we talk about this in episode one of the podcast)
When the collaboration began we weren't sure about what it would look like, we just knew that it had to happen. Jen is like me in the sense that in order to do it, we have to feel it, we cant do anything inauthentic. So, like I said, I met Jen at a bodybuilding show and what struck me was that she and I each experienced so much joy and peace getting ready for our shows that season. We each prepared for our shows drenched in spirituality, rolling in joy and dripping with gratitude. In the land of competitive bodybuilding thats kind of unheard of. This vibe had to be a part of our work.
Now onto the podcast. We are two very different characters, Jen is a tree hugging dancing free spirited hippie and I am a high strung Italian mama bear. We are very different people with a similar mission. We love the art and practice of fitness and believe it adds great value to life. We are on a quest to change the language and perceptions of our art (fitness). Fitness is a thing that is available for anyone to access and there are many forms. There are countless ways to find joy and flourish from moving your body. I love bodybuilding while others maybe love yoga or hiking or hockey. The point is that it's all good and the roots of fitness can extend out of our fingers and down into our feet and change our lives. We have gone through a few iterations of the name. Initially the name of the podcast was the "INTEGRATED HUMAN ALLIANCE" but then we decided that it didnt speak to us as fitness professionals. Jen felt the name fitness should be in the title. Here is the problem tough, I hate the word fitness. I hate it for what it represents and how it excludes people and makes them feel shitty. (The conversation we had about the name was quite comical) Then I meditated and marinated and realized that its not the word fitness that does that to us, it's the business of fitness, I hate the buisness of fitness. I have in front of me an opportunity to help people discover the art and beauty of the practice of fitness. I can get on board with that. So tomorrow the *"INTEGRATED FITNESS SPACE" podcast will be born.
So as I said… I am the podcaster now… I am terrified for this thing to launch yet excited about where it could go, walking forward with my knees knocking together. The universe rewards risks and this is a very well intentioned risk so I am thinking this will be a really good thing.
I cant wait to hear what you all think as we dance together in this INTEGRATED FITNESS SPACE
*We may continue to change the name as we evolve and our mission lets clearer, we are okay with that.